Half Human
by The Hark-ness monster
Summary: Sometimes Spock's human side gets the better of him; especially in the presence of his captain...
1. Chapter 1

Half Human

Star Trek: 2009

A Spock/Kirk fanfiction

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**So alot of people are pointing out to me that Spock is slightly OOC in this story. I realize this and for which i sincerily appologize. :( I had the idea to write this after only seeing the movie like once or twice. But I regret to inform you that there is no chance of me fixing this issue since changing a few things to make Spock more in character would probablly end up changing the whole story and I don't feel like rewritting the entire thing. However, I have also gotten many positive reviews for this story so I'm glad it is still enjoyable ^^. **

**Also, please remember that the title of this is HALF HUMAN, and it's meant to portray Spock's human side a little more so that is probably the reason for his out of characterness. ;)**

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1- like father, like son

The captain of the Enterprise retired early that night. He needed some time to think. Alone. By himself. So he passed off command to his first officer and walked as fast as he could back to his room.

It was actually because of his first officer that he was in such emotional turmoil. It was becoming harder and harder each day to even look at his second in command. Now he was almost…suffocating to be around.

The door slid closed behind him and he sunk to the floor, his face in his hands. He threw his head back, slamming it against the wall. _Get out of my head!_ The phrase 'out of sight, out of mind' did not seem to apply here. Every feature, the way he moved. His soft, dark eyes, his stance, that strong confident voice. _Damn it! Does that man have any flaws?_

He knew there was only one option. Spock would never understand these intense human emotions…and so, Kirk had to leave The Enterprise. He was responsible for hundreds of lives. He could not run a ship properly when his mind was constantly dominated by thoughts of the intoxicating vulcan.

For the first time in his life, the legendary captain Kirk's heart was breaking. He was leaving behind the only two things he had ever loved. Spock and being captain of his ship. He had no idea where to go from here; all he knew was that he could not do this anymore. And for the first time in his life, he cried. Truly and sincerely cried. At that moment he was utterly thankful for the privacy of his room.

Just then, a knock fell upon his door. He sighed, frantically wiping the tears from his face. "What!" He spat weakly. The door slid open. A tall, graceful vulcan entered.

Jim's heart tore a little more. He pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut as if Spock were a dream, a bitter-sweet dream, that would simply disappear if he wished him away.

"Is there something wrong, captain?" He spoke in a smooth, fluid voice that formed a knot in his captain's stomach. "It is not in your daily patterns to retire this early and I observed the frustrated manor in which you exited." Kirk loved it. The way Spock watched, observed and made a mental note of almost every move he made. If it would have been anyone else he would absolutely despise it but since it was Spock, it made him tingle all over.

"Well, it's only a slight problem…" He managed to say with some sarcasm.

Of course, Spock never took sarcasm well. "Well, if it is only a small problem, perhaps you could enlighten me. It would give me great pleasure to try and solve it for you." He sat himself on the floor in front of his red-eyed friend.

Jim sighed and looked up. Spock now realized that the problem was larger than he had assumed.

"Spock, I'm leaving The Enterprise."

"What?" He shifted onto his knees to get closer to his captain. "Why would you do that?"

Kirk paused. He did not want to have to admit the truth right now, but it all came out in a rush. He could not hold back with the man he loved gazing at him so gently.

"I'm in love with my first officer." He could hardly believe what he had just said. He barely even heard the words as they left his lips. Before now he had believed that it would always be his secret.

Their eyes met for a moment before Jim turned away again. Spock did not say anything, just as Kirk had suspected, and so he rushed to avoid the inevitable awkward silence. "It's alright. I know you could never feel the same way about me. That's why I'm leaving. I just…."

Another silence fell over them until Spock, completely calm and composed, looked up at Kirk and spoke. "I never said I couldn't love. Where would you get that idea?" This took Jim by surprise.

"Well, you're a vulcan…the last time I checked, love was an emotion."

"My father loved a human and I am even less vulcan than he. Why would I not be able to love a human?"

"…do you?" Jim asked with some suspicion but a spark of hope was still there.

Spock sighed. His heart told him to say yes, but his head said no. He was somewhere in between, as usual, being half Vulcan, half human. "I can honestly say, I do not know." Spock was just as frustrated with these emotions as Kirk was, he was just better at hiding them. It was situations like these that he really appreciated being a vulcan. Emotional control was definitely to his advantage here. However, that control slipped slightly with what he said next. "Just please don't leave." His voice was gentle and weak, in stark contrast to his usual way of speech.

Kirk looked up with tearful eyes at the vulcan who had slowly inched closer to him. They looked at each other in sweet silence before Kirk forced a laugh and rubbed his eyes, wiping away some of the tears.

"God, I probably look like a fucking idiot right now."

"Of course not, captain." Spock laid a comforting hand on Kirk's shoulder but quickly pulled it back when it drew a pained expression from the other man. Spock now realized the intensity of Kirk's emotion. It made his heart twist and turn; but only when he let his guard down against his emotions.

"Well, I should return to the bridge." Spock stood.

"That would probably be best." Kirk tried to sound strong but that did not come across as he spoke in little more than a whisper.

"Try to get some rest, captain." Spock opened the door, took one last glance and stepped out. The door closed with a metallic clack and Kirk was alone. He stood up, turned out the lights and crawled into bed. It was cold and uncomfortable; unlike how he had felt earlier in Spock's presence. A frown creased his face and remained there until sleep took him and all his tension melted away.


	2. Chapter 2

Half Human

2- Fear

It was late at night. Captain Kirk was still awake and there was nothing that pissed him off more than having to waste the time he could spend sleeping on useless organization. But it was kind of his job as captain. It was mostly just sorting out miscellaneous reports and files that he really didn't think were all that important. He was tempted to just throw them out but that wouldn't display his leadership qualities very well, would it?

He hadn't been sleeping well lately anyway. _That damn vulcan_…

_Shit._ He cursed himself. Just when he thought he was done and could go to bed he remembered the damage reports he had forgotten to file from their most recent mission. _We didn't even take any damage!_ It was obvious the task had just been frivolous busy work for the Enterprise during the recent lull in action for Starfleet but they were required to send in damage reports after every mission no matter how harmless. _You dumbass._ He swore as he stormed out of his room and headed to the bridge where he had left the files.

The halls were empty and Kirk grumbled to himself but he stopped dead in his tracks when he turned the next corner.

"Spock. Oh, hello. I didn't realize anyone else was awake."

Spock wasn't expecting to run into anyone either and he was clearly caught off guard. His heart fluttered; he couldn't help it at the sight of his captain. He prayed that Kirk didn't notice how startled he was.

"Oh. Yes Captain. I was just sending in those damage reports from last week. I noticed the files had been left in the computer on the bridge."

Kirk couldn't suppress a small smile. It was obvious the vulcan suffered from the same insomnia that he did.

"Oh…You didn't have to do that, Spock. It's my job as Captain…"

"Well I had assumed that you were already asleep and I though it illogical to wake you when I am perfectely capable of sending in the reports myself." Spock stared into the blue eyes that smiled up at him, unable to look away. He did everything in his power to remain emotionally detached.

Kirk let out a small chuckle and shook his head. Spock never ceased to amaze, and bewilder, him. "I could not have asked for a better first officer." He paused and then; "Come here you ridiculous vulcan." Jim pulled the other man into a hug. This action, he knew, was completely rash, but being half delirious from lack of sleep he decided to seize this rare, private opportunity to show a little more affection towards the man he loved so much. He had desired this kind of closeness with Spock for such a long time…

To his surprise, Spock did not immediately pull away. Instead he cautiously curved his arms around the other man and softly laid his hands across his back. Kirk sighed and they both relaxed further, sinking deeper into the embrace. The hug became much more that its original intent but neither one seemed to care.

Then, Spock, driven by some emotional human urge inside him, moved his lips closer, closer to his Captain's neck. Then he paused centimeters away. _Stop and think about what you are about to do… _his logical vulcan mind told him.

"What are you afraid of?" Jim questioned as he observed Spock's breath on his neck. He felt the vulcan's quickened heartbeat against his chest, then Spock pulled away.

He looked at Jim with fake confusion trying to mask his previous intentions.

"Fear would be…illogical captain." He spat out what he knew was a rather pathetic excuse.

"Then why are you afraid to kiss me?"

Spock's emotional barriers snapped. He lost all control and made no effort to regain it. "I'm not," he breathed as he took Jim's face in his hands and swept him into a deep kiss that Kirk hadn't even thought vulcans were capable of. Quite a pleasant surprize. He savored the taste and the soft determination of the other man's lips. It was even better than he had imagined.

Kirk sunk deep into his arms as Spock ran his hands over Jim's shoulders and down his back pulling him closer. While pushing back against Spock's lips with his own, Kirk lifted one hand and rested if on his first officer's shoulder and the other made its way to the small of his back. His fists closed around the material of the other man's regulation uniform, wishing he could just hold him there forever.

But eventually the kiss broke leaving the both desperate for a breath. Kirk would have gone in for another, weather Spock wanted it or not, but then the vulcan spoke.

"I'm…I'm sorry captain. I shouldn't have done that." Spock refused to meet Kirk's eye. He looked down at the ground in shame and Kirk smiled at the adorable green tinge beneath the vulcan's eyes. "I should go." He broke away from Kirk's grasp and moved past him in a hurry heading on his way down the hall.

"Spock, wait."

The vulcan paused. Then slowly turned to face his captain. He looked him in the eye this time but the hint of blush and shame had not faded from his face.

"You have nothing to apologize for." A smile twisted his lips sweetly upward.

"Goodnight, captain." Spock nodded then turned away. Kirk's face was so sincere, so _loving_. He had to leave quickly before he did something else irrational.

Spock made it a short ways down the hall, practically running, before he turned a corner and stopped. His knees were weak. He couldn't go any further. He leaned against the wall and tried to catch his breath as he sunk to the floor.

Though he had left his captain behind him, the sensation and taste of his lips still lingered. The electricity of his touch bristled his senses. Spock's mind was absolutely drowning in James Kirk.

He buried his face in his arms which were folded across his knees. Kirk was the only one who could draw out Spock's human side so easily and he was the only thing in the universe that Spock understood through emotions instead of facts. It drove him insane. _He_ drove him insane. And Spock hated it…or at least he did until he knew what it was like to kiss the captain.


	3. Chapter 3

**It's been a while since my last update! ^^; ...sorry about the wait! Hopefully it was worth it but personally I feel like this chapter is really bad. This was one of the hardest chapters of a fanfiction I've ever had to write. . IDK but it feels like literary thin ice to me. Anyway, I hope my lack of knowledge of the Star Trek universe doesn't distract you from the story! I have yet to watch the original Star Trek series...**

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Half Human

3- Desperate Measures

The morning for the Enterprise was uneventful. It seemed to the captain that it was just going to be an ordinary day of no new orders, the same navigation patterns and painful glances between him and Spock. He tried not to think about the kiss…most of these attempts were futile.

As the hours slid past, however, an unexpected tension noticeably spread through the air held behind air-lock doors like a wildfire waiting for a match to come and light it. That match came just as the ship was about to shut down for night shift.

"Captain," Chekov said just as Kirk was heading off the bridge to retire for the night. His desperate tone was worrisome. He turned to the young Russian. "We've picked up some strange signals from a nearby ship called the Tinnian. It looks like it's a supply ship headed for the Deneva colony and it's been stopped by an unidentified vessel."

"Unidentified?" The captain leaned on Chekov's chair to get a closer look at the readings.

"Yes sir. Unknown origin, unknown destination, unknown model, probably modified." He shook his head, unsure of what to make of the data. Silence fell over the ship.

"Pirates sir." Kirk hadn't even noticed that the vulcan had entered the bridge. Everyone turned to look at Spock. "They could be pirates. Supply ships, especially small ones like this are prime targets for pirates and other independent rebel groups."

Kirk turned quickly back around to the screen. The ships in question were now in view. "Can you get me some vitals, schematics, anything on either ship?" Kirk asked as he walked back to evaluate the situation from the vantage point of the captain's chair.

"No sir," Chekov confessed. "The attackers have spotted us. They've locked down everything."

"Well it looks like whoever these guys are they aren't looking to compromise. Someone tell me, is this a hostage situation?"

Uhura spoke up, "Looks like it sir. The last available transmission sent from the Tinnian was a distress call."

"Of course it was," the captain complained. "Shields on either ship?"

"Both sir," Chekov confirmed.

"Uhura, request permission from Starfleet to engage."

"Yes sir." The linguistics officer dove into her work.

"Captain," one of the crew members said. "We've managed to pick up some vitals aboard the Tinnian." The whole bridge fell silent. Now everyone could hear the quick and steady beeps that broke through the silence and ticked like seconds of lost time.

"Heartbeats," Kirk sighed.

"As many as twenty-three detected, sir. Most likely more."

"This ship isn't just carrying supplies," the captain's first officer said ominously, stepping up behind him. "These are refugees."

The captain swore under his breath. "Uhura, do we have permission to engage?" he barked desperately.

"Permission denied sir."

"On what grounds?"

"Not enough is known about either ship or the situation. The Enterprise is ordered to hold its position."

"Sir, even if we used our smallest cannons to engage, both the ships would be pounded into slag," Sulu pointed out.

"Captain," Uhura called, "It seems the unidentified ship is attempting to establish a link of communication with us."

"Well, let them through." The ship was silent as a smooth voice came through and began to speak.

"USS Enterprise, this is the captain of the Hallower. We are taking this ship, its cargo and its passengers. We are armed. We will not hesitate to use those weapons should you or anyone else interfere. Remain where you are and no one will get hurt...That is until our hostages are sold into slavery."

The connection crackled and broke.

Kirk was serious and contemplative for a minute, carefully weighing the situation in his head. "I take orders from no one but Starfleet."

Spock stepped in, "but Starfleet has also commanded us to hold our position."

"They commanded _The Enterprise_ to hold its position." Kirk's sly grin confused Spock.

"Yes, exactly. We cannot engage."

"The Enterprise can't."

Spock paused and studied every feature of the captain, trying to come to a logical conclusion about Kirk's thought process. As usual, he could not follow the captain's irrational conclusions. "What are you getting at captain?"

"Do we have a stealth ship small enough to sneak on board the Tinnian?" he asked generally.

"Yes sir. It's a one man vessel," someone answered.

"Great," he smiled, seeming pleased. "I'll go."

He rose from his chair and the ship exploded into controversy. Kirk was bombarded with "Captain, you can't do that"s, "you'll be killed"s and "it's much too dangerous"s. But surprisingly one man stayed silent, offering only his typical, severe expression as commentary. As the noise died down he turned to his superior.

"Sir, may I converse with you in private for a moment?" Spock asked, ever polite.

"Sure but make it quick," the captain responded.

They stepped into the privacy of the hall and the door closed, shutting them off from the rest of the crew.

"Has whatever logic you may have had in your tiny human mind finally been crushed by your uncontrollable impulses?" he asked in a rushed but smooth tangle of words.

"C'mon Spock, we don't have time for the fancy talk."

"Have you gone mad," the vulcan hissed.

"Ah, madness," the captain said casually as if critiquing a piece of art. "The universe would be no where without it."

"You can't do this." Spock's tone matched his face, serious and desperate.

"Why not?" Kirk replied.

"Because you're the goddamn captain!" Spock's emotional control was slipping. As he had already learned, the captain in particular makes this vulcan feat hard to achieve.

"And that's precisely why I _can_ do it," Kirk replied. "Why should I send someone out there to risk their life when I can just do it myself? I know I can do this Spock." His voice softened and he stepped closer. The spark of confidence in his eyes was reassuring, but just barely. "Plus if I don't make it back I have a replacement officer who would be twice the captain I ever was."

"So you're suicidal then, is that it?"

"No, I-"

"Well if this is your idea of a promotion then I decline."

"Too late Spock. I do believe that as captain I can…do whatever the hell I want." He was clearly getting frustrated. It was time for this argument to end. Their bickering was doing nothing but wasting valuable time in the lives of innocent victims.

Spock paused. "Well not exactly captain…"

"Shut up." Kirk leaned in and landed a sneak-attack kiss on the vulcan's cheek. "Keep a close eye on my vitals, sweetheart."

The captain dashed off down the hall in the direction of the hangar and Spock was left alone, infuriated and blushing in front of the door to the bridge.

Milling over several courses of action, Spock decided it best to simply obey orders after seriously contemplating a plan that involved him running after Kirk and knocking him unconscious. He deleted that plan immediately.

Turning on his heels with a frustrated grunt he re-entered the bridge only to be greeted by a dozen pairs of eyes on him. They all seemed to be waiting for him to speak.

"In the temporary absence of the captain, I am to command the Enterprise." He announced sounding completely calm, even though deep down he really wasn't.

"He's going?" Uhura sounded surprised.

_She really shouldn't be_. _This is just typical of him,_ Spock thought. He took the captain's chair in response.

"Commander Chekov, pull up the ship's hangar status," Spock ordered.

A few seconds and Chekov was there. "Shuttle preparing for liftoff sir."

"Someone get captain Kirk's vitals for me."

"Yes sir."

Chekov chimed in again. "The captain's ship is taking off sir."

Silence filled the bridge except for the agonizing sound of the captain's heartbeat which only served to put Spock more on edge. It took all his strength to stop himself from ordering someone to shut it off. But he knew he had to hear it.

"Sir," Uhura said. "The captain is establishing contact with us."

There was a moment of still air before the captain spoke up. "Spock." His voice came through.

"Yes, captain." The vulcan's uneasiness unintentionally slipped through in his voice.

"How's the captain's chair treatin' you?" he said with his usual humor as if nothing was wrong. It baffled Spock how he could be so casual at a time like this. Though Kirk's elevated heart rate which could be heard loud and clear suggested that he wasn't as calm as he sounded.

"Captain, what exactly is your plan of attack?" the vulcan responded.

"I don't know yet but I'll figure something out. I always do."

"Captain, I'm afraid one of these days this luck of yours is going to run out. I wouldn't push it if I were you."

"Well you're not me. And apparently I'm not as logical or as rational as you so my luck is basically the only thing I've got going for me. And who are you kidding anyway Spock. We both know you don't believe in luck." His voice was heavy as it hung in the air. _All too true…_thought Spock.

"You don't even know how many hostiles there are…"

"I estimate no more than seven. Did you see the size of that ship, Spock? It's tiny. Besides, groups like these are usually black marketers and professional at being efficient. They don't like to waste money on more men than they need."

"That means they'll be highly trained," Spock pointed out.

"Yeah well so am I."

The line fell silent for a moment, only heartbeats heard in the background. They all watched Kirk's tiny shuttle come into view as it approached the victim ship.

Spock swallowed, took a breath and then spoke to his captain, no, his friend.

"Jim, please promise me you'll come back safe." His voice was low and soft and he barely even realized he was speaking, it just happened. He held his breath waiting for the captain's reply.

"Why?" The stinging word was sharp and bitter as it burst through the silence. It shocked the whole crew as they drew in a breath. The tension rose. "Why does it matter to you so much Spock? It's not often you let emotion slip into your voice like that."

_So he had heard it,_ Spock thought. _Damn._

The way the two spoke now revealed to the crew that there was something they were missing. Private words spoken between the captain and his first officer. A relationship they had not seen before.

"Because you're my captain." Spock tried to play the safe card and maybe avoid a complete disaster, but he failed. He knew, an even worse, Kirk knew, this was not the reason he needed Kirk to come back.

"Oh cut the crap, Spock," Jim spat. "Be a little illogical for once. Now tell me why you need me to come back." A pause. "Tell me Spock." More dead air, then he screamed. "Tell me why!"

"Because I love you that's why!"

Everything was silent. Spock waited for what seemed like years before the captain saved him from the unbearable silence. He regretted every second. _How does he do that_, he thought. _How!_ Kirk knew exactly how to access Spock's emotions. He had never felt so defeated as he suffered through the embarrassment of a thousand shocked stares.

"I've been waiting for you to say that for a long time, Spock." His voice was like silk now. Soft, calm, relieved. "At least now I can die happy."

"Jim!" the Vulcan shouted.

Amused laughter came in on the other end. "I'm kidding Spock. I'll be coming back just fine don't worry." And something in the captain's voice made Spock believe him with all his heart. Maybe it was just hope, but sudden relief washed over him. "Just promise me you'll be waiting right where I left you," the captain said.

Spock smiled. "Your wish is my command, captain."

"Wonderful." Spock could just picture Jim's face with that pleased smile he knew he was wearing, shining blue eyes and all. "Oh and Spock," the captain said. "I love you too."

Spock allowed the tiniest of grins to liven his lips at the captain's words, until he remembered that the entire crew was listening and looking on. He quickly wiped his face of all emotion and intently watched the captain's shuttle make its way to the Tinnian.

Spock resumed his vulcan practice of ignoring all the emotion his heart was being bombarded with. This he found quite difficult, as it always was when Kirk was involved. No matter how much he wrestled with his inner feelings, there still remained a thin cover of fear woven with mixed threads of hope and love.


	4. Chapter 4

Half Human

4- Heroes

The night went on with sporadic contact between the captain and the Enterprise.

Spock was thankful that the affair did not last long, but it was intense and nerve racking. Kirk managed to sneak on board where he reported twenty-five hostages and at least seven pirates of mixed race. He went in, phasers blazing, set to stun. Luckily, the pirates were not expecting any kind of attack so he was able to take down several of them quickly. But not long after his phaser got knocked from his hand, the enterprise lost contact with their captain. He was on his own and they were unaware of the situation on board the tiny supply ship.

They waited, and waited. That was all they _could _do. All eyes were fixed on the two ships ahead as if staring at them hard enough would grant them insight into the situation within the unyielding walls. The only tangible presence of the captain was through his vital sighns, his heartbeats, which pulsed through the bridge and every ear of the crew who clenched their teeth and fists in nervous anticipation.

A few minutes passed. Eventually, the captain's heartbeat slowed, his breathing evened out. The whole bridge held its breath.

Static from the communications link…then… "Spock." The crew breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm coming back."

Spock allowed himself a grin, small and secret, to himself. _He's coming back_, he repeated in his head.

The captain's shuttle departed from the Tinnian and the supply ship broke away from their attackers after that. The defeated Hallower remained floating in space, like a dead fish in the sea, with its entire crew either unconscious or dead. Those aboard the Enterprise cheered.

Spock turned away from the screen and exploded from the captain's chair. With great haste he left the bridge and elegantly strode down the hall in great bounds, hands tucked gracefully behind his back. He was headed for the hangar, to be there for his captain when the brave hero returned.

Spock watched with anticipation, barely able to control his anxiety as he saw the captain's ship descend. It touched down with a loud slam along with hisses and whines as the engine cooled. The landing was a little rougher than the first officer had hoped. Not a good sign. But he waited patiently and the bridge lowered…with the captain striding gallantly upon it.

"Jim," he said, nearly whispering and, no longer able to control himself, he ran to embrace his friend.

"Spock," the captain breathed through a busted lip and his arms fell around the vulcan.

They pulled away quickly as Spock was eager to assess the damage the captain had sustained. Lip split open and bleeding, possibly broken nose, minor cuts and bruises to the face, some form of injury to the ankle or knee judging by the captain's slight limp and a whole spectrum of other possible injuries Kirk may have received during the fight. Spock wasn't a doctor but he knew he had to get Jim to one.

"Come Jim," Spock said as he gently took the captain and lifted him into his arms. "We have to get you to medical."

"Spock," Kirk managed to choke out.

"Yes captain."

"I'm glad you're my first officer," he sighed and relaxed in the vulcan's arms wrapping his own around Spock's strong shoulders.

Moving swiftly and gracefully out of the hangar, as if unburdened, the vulcan replied, "And I could not be more proud to serve you as my captain."

The weakened human managed a smile with injured lips and slowly took in every feature on his stoic vulcan's face. Then he laid his head down to rest on his hero's shoulder and paid no mind to anyone other than Spock.

The first officer of the Enterprise moved quickly through the halls, desperate to see his captain and friend all patched up and healed.

When they arrived at the med bay (probably in record time from the hangar) Bones exploded from the ward and swooped in at once to get an assessment of the captain's injuries.

"Jim," the doctor said as he immediately started running tests for head trauma while he was still in the vulcan's arms. "How ya feelin' old buddy?"

"Bones?" Kirk slowly pulled his eyes open only to have a glaring white light promptly flashed in them by the frantic doctor. "I'm fine, how are you?" he mumbled with humor. Bones never answered the question.

"Bring him in here Spock, quickly." The vulcan did as he was ordered and rushed the captain in and set him down on the very first bed.

Bones immediately rushed over to the wall of computers and machinery to get the full perspective of the captain's health. To Spock it did not appear that the captain had been damaged too severely, but again, he wasn't a doctor.

"How's he holdin' up there Spock?" the doctor asked.

"Ya know I can speak for myself doc," Kirk cut in. "It's not like I've got brain damage or anything." He sputtered a pathetic cough.

"Well I questioned your mental health before all this happened," the doctor huffed and the vulcan smiled by his bedside in agreement. "And who knows what happened on that ship. Better be safe than sorry." Bones turned around and smiled at his friend finally seeming to relax.

"I agree with the doctor on this captain," Spock said. "You should stay here and rest if only to get these cuts and bruises treated." He lifted a hand to Kirk's face and brushed a gentle thumb across his damaged cheek. Such contact was so rare for the vulcan that it shocked the doctor and even Kirk but it did elicit a smile from his lips.

"Whatever you say, my brave first officer." The captain's eyes sparkled perfectly and, even without skin contact with the vulcan, his emotions were conveyed perfectly in his eyes. The corners of the vulcan's lips turned just the slightest bit upwards.

"Uh…Spock…thanks for bringing him here and all but don't you have a job to be doing?" Bones suggested, raising an eyebrow.

The vulcan stood immediately cursing himself for nearly forgetting that there were others in his presence. "Yes, of course. I must be getting back to the bridge," he said, shaking off his embarrassment. "Take good care of him doctor." And with that he left with a respectful nod to the doctor and a goodbye glance at the captain.

As soon as he was out of Kirk's sight, Spock mentally kicked himself for not sharing with the captain what he truly thought of him in that moment. Though he was sure the Kirk already knew, _he_ wanted to be the first one to actually tell him. _He_ wanted to express all the adoration he felt so deeply within his own human heart. Kirk was a hero. _He is my hero. He will be mine always and I will be his. _This is what Spock knew and it was time they both stopped denying it. This is what Spock's heart told him, and for once he chose to listen to it.


	5. Chapter 5

Half Human

5- How to be Human

Spock was not expecting company at an hour this late so when he heard a knock at his door his eyebrows drew together in confusion. He stood up from his desk, walked swiftly and gracefully to the door and opened it. His breath caught. It was Kirk. He looked magnificent standing there, even with the addition of a broken lip and a small bruise beneath his eye, which in Spock's opinion made him all the more appealing. A sudden warmth radiated out from his heart and reached all the way to his toes.

"Hey," Kirk said awkwardly shifting his eyes as if he were embarrassed. Spock couldn't imagine why. He looked delightfully uncomfortable, which was out of character for him but Spock still found it absolutely adorable.

"Hi," was all he could say in response. _Say something else Jim. _He just wanted to hear the human speak.

"I um…was just…released from the uhh…med bay and I…just wanted to see you."

Spock's face was hard to read. Finally he said, "Well come in then." He gestured toward the rest of the room inviting him in like a true gentleman.

This drew a grateful smile out of the captain and he stepped inside. The sound of the door closing was followed by and uncomfortable silence but it didn't last long. For a few sweet moments they were content to simply stand and stare at each other. Spock took in the sight of the man before him. His golden hair, his delightfully human scent, those eyes that said so much without words. They poured out his soul.

Kirk scanned over Spock's features. His coal black, perfectly trimmed hair. His proper, rigid stance. And then their eyes locked and his heart melted. He fell into Spock's inviting gaze.

All the while, they gravitated towards each other, drawing closer and closer. Barely even knowing.

When they were close enough to feel each other's breath, Spock finally broke the silence, "Jim."

"Yes." Kirk's voice was barely a whisper.

"About…certain things that were said earlier…" He trailed off and Kirk cut in.

"You meant it didn't you? What you said?"

Spock's face was sincere and very serious. Typical Vulcan. "Yes." And Kirk didn't doubt it for a second. There was a light in the Vulcan's eyes that was never there before. Emotion, adoration, love.

They drew closer still.

"Then there is nothing to discuss." They closed the remaining space between them. Their bodies pressed together, their foreheads met and their eyes slid closed wishing only to take in each other's presence. They breathed as one. Each felt the other's chest swell as they inhaled and their breath mingled as they exhaled. Kirk found Spock's hangd and slowly wove their fingers together.

Spock's breath caught as emotions poured from Jim's fingertips through his own. Everywhere their skin met was like an electric spark. Pure energy and emotion. Normally Spock would have withdrawn from the contact, not wanting to submit himself to any kind of emotion but Kirk was so _real_, so human that Spock _craved_ him. He craved the emotion. The human in-side him had been caged up and forgotten for so long that it's new freedom was intoxicating. He didn't ever want to let it go. And since Jim was the only thing that could do this to him, he didn't ever want to let _Jim_ go.

_To be with you always…_

This was the thought that Jim heard in his mind. A thought that had come from Spock. They breathed together, they thought together. They were one. But Jim did not have long to think about this before Spock wrapped his arm around his waist and covered his lips with a kiss. It was deep, passionate, something Kirk had not expected from Spock but nonetheless it made him smile beneath the vulcan's lips.

Slowly, Kirk found himself backed against the wall by the impassioned vulcan whose lips moved perfectly with his. But the contact was sweet, loving, emotional. Without words Spock was telling Kirk what he'd been waiting so long to hear. The vulcan's skin on his was intoxicating and the captain could barely take the teasing touch of the other man's palms on the sides of his face and neck.

When Spock pulled away to catch his breath, Kirk seized the opportunity to pull his own shirt over his head and he tossed it to the floor. A smile adorned his lips and those of his lover and he caught a glimpse of bright vulcan teeth before they reconnected.

He'd never seen Spock smile like that before. It was like a star that lit his whole universe. Vulcan lips traveled down the captain's neck and Kirk sighed with delight and affection.

"Was that a smile I saw Spock?" he breathed. Spock's lips were hot, his hands, electric as they brushed lightly over the skin of Kirk's back.

"Indeed," he answered. Pressing his lips in one gentle kiss on the captain's shoulder and holding him close.

"I've never seen you smile like that before."

The vulcan allowed a small amount of space to come between them, just enough for him to look into the stunningly blue eyes of his human lover.

"When I'm with you I have a reason to display my emotions in such a ridiculous manor," he explained, the smile never fading.

Kirk laughed. "Spock," he said, winding his hand around the back of his neck and drowning his fingers in coal black hair. "I love you so much."

Spock's heart was overwhelmed. Overflowing with emotion he'd never experienced so strongly before in his life. Everything was irrelevant now. Just him and his captain.

"I love you too, my Th'yla. Truly, completely, with all my being," his heart spoke from his lips. "I never thought this kind of emotion was possible until I met you." And he was sincere. Maybe more so than he had ever been with Kirk.

Kirk smiled coyly. "It's called being human," and Spock knew it was true.

The human climbed into the half-vulcan's arms, with legs around his hips and arms around his neck. Spock's hands on the captain's waist was all he needed to support his weight which felt to him like nothing. "Now take me to bed ," he commanded.

"As you wish, captain." He carried his lover to the bed behind them and laid on his back with Kirk above him.

"Shouldn't you be citing regulation or something right about now Spock? There's got to be something against this," Kirk said. He wasn't seriously provoking rejection, only being playful as he smiled down at the enticing vulcan and his endless brown eyes.

"Oh there is, I'm sure of it," Spock confirmed with a smile. "But try not to think about that right now, my love. I am merely a first officer following orders." His hand traveled up the back of Kirk's neck and through his soft blonde hair.

Kirk laughed. "Aww, come on. That makes you sound like a _victim._" He ran his hand seductively over the vulcan's chest and leaned down closer against him.

"Well often times I _am_ the victim of your irrational behavior. But those are the times when I have a personal argument or logical dilemma with your decisions. This time it seems that to argue against this would be to argue against myself."

Kirk chuckled and covered the vulcan's smiling lips with his own with both hands on the sides of his face to pull him closer. He inhaled deeply through his nose, feeling his chest swell against the vulcan's hand across his back. He broke the kiss and rolled off of Spock to lay beside him.

Then they both agreed to silence. Blue eyes met brown. The moment was perfect.

Long patient emotions poured from the tips of Kirk's fingers into the heart of the vulcan when the human touched his lover's skin. Kirk sighed. _Finally, _he thought.

_Finally, _Spock agreed.

* * *

Later that night, Kirk lay close to the vulcan. His back against Spock's chest with a vulcan arm around his waist. Too deep in ecstasy to sleep, Jim took Spock's hand and, like a distracted child, found himself playing with his lover's fingers. As Spock drifted closer towards sleep, he breathed steady breaths of warm air into the back of the captain's neck and found delight in each touch of Kirk's hand on his fingers.

There had been a long time of still air and silence but then Kirk spoke again, not letting go of the vulcan's hand.

"Spock, do you love me?" he said innocently. The most honest question a human could ask.

Then Spock replied sweetly, without opening his eyes, "Yes, of course Th'yla. Did we not already discuss this?" To any other human's ear Spock would have easily sounded annoyed, but Kirk new that he wasn't. He caught that subtle, playful tone that drifted on his voice.

"I know," Kirk admitted. "I just like to hear you say it."

"Hmm," the vulcan hummed in fatigue, but the human was not about to give up. "Say it," he whispered, pulling at Spock's hand to bring them closer together.

Spock's response was a low, rough sound in the back of his throat accompanied by a smile. It was barely recognizable as laughter but Kirk understood. "Your human quirks amuse me, my love." Spock said.

"Spock did you just laugh?" Kirk wondered and he slowly shifted to his other side to face the vulcan with a quizzical look.

"Yes, that was laughter," he said, flashing teeth set in an unrestrained smile. He looked up at the beaming face of his lover. "Does my laugher please you?"

"Of course," Kirk laughed.

"Then I shall laugh all the time for you, Th'yla."

"Wow," Kirk said, raising an eyebrow in mocking skepticism. "You must love me a lot if _you_ are going to laugh just for me."

The vulcan sighed and thought a moment before responding. His eyes sparkled with adoration. "I love you more than I think I will ever comprehend."

Kirk's heart felt warm, full. His nerves tingled down to his toes. "Well I love you twice as much."

Spock laughed again, softer this time. "Liar," he playfully accused with smiling lips.

"Don't call me a liar!" Jim joked back.

"Then perhaps you should shut me up."

And Kirk was sure to do just that. He pressed his lips hard against the vulcan's and leaned in close against his lover.


	6. Chapter 6

Half Human

6- For Good Luck

A soft whisper on the back of Kirk's neck woke him from his gentle sleep.

"Captain," the rich, deep voice said.

He shifted where he lay as he became aware of the world outside of dreams. His eyes closed tighter to combat the disruptive light in the room and he inhaled deeply, hoping to breath back sleep. But his peaceful rest was stolen away by the Vulcan beside him.

"Captain," he insisted. Spock seemed fully awake. Kirk, however, was not. He rubbed one tired eye and reluctantly opened the other.

"Captain?" he said. "What ever happened to Jim?" Kirk wondered.

Spock rolled off the bed and sprung up with a seemingly miraculous burst of energy. _How does he do that this early in the morning, _the captain grumbled in his head.

"I will call you Jim in our personal affairs, captain, but at this moment you need to be awake and preparing to run your ship," the first officer explained brightly.

"Uhhhg. Five more minutes," the blonde complained, tugging the blankets closer to his face.

"I'm afraid that would be impossible, sir. In five minutes the rest of the crew will be awake and moving to the bridge for the next shift." He moved over to the closet where shed his shirt and began folding it neatly. Looking back at Jim, he said, "What would they think if they caught you exiting _my_ room?"

"They would think we're in love, which we are." Kirk sat up slowly on the edge of the bed and rubbed sleep from his eyes. "We can let them use their imagination for the rest." A snarky smile twisted his lips.

The captain's shirt, thrown by the vulcan, landed directly on Jim's head, sprawled in a wrinkled mess. He pulled it away to reveal his amused face.

"I don't think that would be ideal, captain." Spock softened his tone, but humor was still there. "I don't want things to be assumed about our private relations."

Kirk, grinning, walked over to his lover and pulled his gold shirt over his head. "I think you just want to get rid of me," he teased and pressed himself against his first officer.

"Precisely," Spock added with a grin and wrapped his hands around Kirk's waist to hold him there. They shared a quick kiss and Kirk tousled the vulcan's perfectly trimmed hair playfully before turning to the door.

"See you on the bridge, sexy."

The captain left the room and the door closed behind him. Smiling to himself, he fixed his uncombed hair before walking to his room to get ready.

* * *

The captain appeared on the bridge and took his place in the captain's chair.

"Alright Sulu, what's the plan?" he asked. Of course, being the captain, he already knew but it was always good to double check with the pilot.

"Sir," he said, spinning around in his chair to address Kirk. "We are to report back to base. No further orders."

"Right."

Just then, Spock stepped in. Ever elegant, his grace drew the attention of the entire room. The captain faced him but spoke generally. "I hope they didn't find out about the little stunt I pulled." The vulcan smiled gently at him. "What do you think, Spock? Did they catch me this time?" His smile was cocky but his voice had a surprising hint of genuine worry.

The vulcan stepped up to his captain. "I can't say, sir. But I can offer you this." He did not hesitate to place a gentle, loving kiss on the captain's cheek. "To add to your reserve of good luck."

Kirk grinned whole heartedly as he saw in the vulcan's eyes that doubt had finally, fully been defeated.

Thought the crew was shocked, the lovers were confident. They smiled at each other with their true feelings in view, no longer bothering to hide them anymore.

The captain paid no mind to the stares he was getting and turned back to Sulu, still bearing his honest grin.

"Alright." Kirk nodded. "Let's head home."

The pilot obeyed and sent the ship into warp.

Now, Kirk was sure of his decision to join Starfleet. There was nothing more exciting than traveling to the farthest reaches of space with the one you love right by your side. He was sure now that this was where he wanted to stay for a long, long time.

* * *

**Finally I'm finished with this! I think this is the single longest running fic I've ever had. (except for my two star wars pieces wich are both like 15 chapters long). I'm so relieved now that this is done, I mean I love this story and all but it was so frustrating and just blah! Now I can move on to bigger and better things :) glad I could contribute to the Spirk fandom though! :) Hope you enjoyed it! **

**Peace!**


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